Losing Control
by KatanaDoshi
Summary: Sometimes he just forgets. NS,L and AT,AL sequel


Losing Control

Summary: Sometimes he just _forgets_. NS,L sequel

A/N: As is often the case, this was inspired by a song and a completely different fandom. For you Once Upon a Time fans out there: Hi! I'm on your team now! Yay. Look for those fics later. Back to the rest of you. This is a direct sequel to Not Slipping, Living and Another Time, Another Life (both of which I should really retitle. Please comment with new ideas for that, would you?) so read this and pretend that the incident with Molly and the thing with Vivian didn't happen.

This ficlet basically turns the whole mess of one-shots (excluding the ones featuring Oberon's Children and Lex) into one long story-arc which I may take down and repost into one big fic for everyone's (mostly my own) convenience. Do review and let me know what you think of THAT idea as well.

This is my treat for those of you that prefer the more traditional Owen/Puck dynamic. Firmly places these fics in AU territory.

Spoilers: FtM (and so on), ATAL, Seasons 1 and 2 of Gargolyes

Warnings: ANGST

Disclaimer: Own none of it. Sadness...

* * *

Sometimes he forgets.

It's never for long - just one insignificant moment out of the thousands that make up his day - and never during anything important but its always hard to come back to when, where and _who_ he should be.

At breakfast he'll look up and grin at something Fox has said until her shocked face reminds him.

In the lab he'll giggle at a failure and make an offhand joke until David's hand on his shoulder pulls him back.

In the castle his steps will become more fluid than firm and playful grace will replace efficient movement until his reflection in shining windows stop him mid-step.

Today he makes a snide comment at his coffee intern, eyes narrowed, his lips twisted in a smirk and arms crossed until her shocked tears startle him into remembering.

"Its getting worse?" David asked behind him, standing just inside the door of Owen's office. Owen didn't look up from the polished stainless steel reflecting _Owen Burnett's _face back at him. He hadn't been there to see the tears, Owen thought, was this now such a common occurence that David could tell at a glance?

"It's still happening." Owen confirmed, voice faint as he continued to search his reflection for something more than just himself. "I'm not sure what would qualify as 'getting worse', sir."

He added the formality to remind himself, though he didn't need the reminding, of what the role was and who was supposed to be playing it.

"Is it... lasting longer?" Confusion and hesitation. This wasn't like when Owen had suddenly found himself with a libido and cravings of his very own and not like his distaste of tight spaces; no, this was like before.

This was like that first night when David poked Owen on the cheek and, having calmed down from the earlier start, told him to show him again.

_("Why sir," Owen's eyes glittered and his lips formed a small smirk even as he slid off his glasses and stood. "How very forward of you.")_

This was like that fateful night when Owen Burnett gave a small smile and a helpless shrug to a New York City detective and lead her into the castle.

This was like that all consuming panic, at the end, when Owen Burnett moved too fast and too restlessly in order to get away... but came back in the end.

_("I'm afraid, my lord, there's one more nuisance left," Owen's chin lifted defiantly. _

_"Owen," David looked so pleased where he lay. "I knew you'd come back."_

_Well, at least one of them had.)_

"No," Owen turned, finally, to face his friend. His face was perfectly still, perfectly blank and perfectly Owen.

"What do you think this is?" David asked, showing the concern that Owen wouldn't. The blond wouldn't meet the other man's eyes

"I think perhaps..." he trailed off. He didn't want to say it but Owen Burnett, he told himself firmly, did not leave sentences half-finished. "That the barrier caused by Lord Oberon's spell is fading."

"Fading," David repeated, trying hard to make Owen look him in the eye. "What does that mean?" David didn't know a great deal about what the spell had done to his friend but the change had been so pronounced that he could guess. "The thing that keeps Puck... away?"

"Yes," The darker man stared, surprised as Owen's jaw clenched and eyes shut.

"You're... afraid," David said in surprise, brow furrowed. "But why?" he started to smile, very slightly, mistaking the fear on Owen's face for that of change. "Don't you miss being-" one with the trickster, David almost said before he realized just what that would mean. His face fell and a fear of his own took the place of the smile. "Oh Owen..."

Two years. Two long years of self-discovery and growth. Two years of learning how to live alone in his own head, missing an integral part of himself that he had, at first, missed dearly. Two years of coming into his own and covering up that hole Oberon's spell had left with new habits, preferences, likes, dislikes, memories and feelings.

If Puck came back, where would it all go?

"Owen," David felt the other man flinch as his hands fell on grey suited shoulders.

"I don't want to go," the blond said in a quiet rush almost before David had finished saying his name.

David tugged, without asking for permission, until he and Owen were pressed chest to chest. He moved his hand and pulled insistently until frightened blue eyes were hidden against his shoulder. He turned his face so that blond hair tickled his cheek and breathed deep until he was sure his voice would be steady when words came.

There were no tears.

And there were no false promises of things being ok.

* * *

A/N: Yes, the brief quote where David asks Owen to show it to him is a reference to the big reveal that more or less ends ItB. So, you get a one-shot and a sneak peek! Originally the line came across as a little dirty(er) and it occurred to me that some of you would have forgotten to take off your slash goggles so I had to change it.

R&R. Tell me what to change to the two fic names to and tell me if putting all the related oneshots in one big fic (like the Transformers one-shot collection Broken) is a good idea and what to name it if I do. Tell me if I should follow up this fic with more like it. Whatever, just review.

Challenge: (It's been a while, sorry.) "I don't want to go." Speaker and show. First commentor gets their own One-shot. Updated list of fandoms is on my profile page.


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